Saturday, February 24, 2018

There is something about youth


The older you get, the more you crave it. The time of your life when things that seem meaningless now seemed to matter most and the things that really mattered did not seem to be very important. The time when everyone is full of dreams and passion and had such a positive outlook on life. When all you'd ever think of is what the future awaits for you. How everything is gonna turn up for you. And all the hopefulness and promises of tomorrow never seem to fade. 

But before you know it, the years caught up with you. And the future that you were looking forward to is in the now. Before long, you'd start to wonder, how did all the time pass you by? In between work, vacations, more working days going through the 'adult' life and commitments, here we are. In the now.


Oh how I miss it.

Thursday, November 09, 2017

Preparing for winter

The time of the year where it's busiest in Dubai is finally here! Tourists flock in this city I call home as the temperature is just nice for people from colder countries, and there's plenty of sun to catch. I must admit, it's my favorite time of the year too. Sun is strong, but it's cool enough to take a walk outside.

I look forward to spending more time outside winter this year.

I want to keep myself busy, so I'll probably write more as well. I have no clue on what, but it always feels nice for me to just write. Weird, I know.

As of now, I'm sitting on the balcony of his house trying to enjoy my last few days here. They say home is where the heart is, and so I've been making home with him here for more than a year now. Time for me to get settled again in my own house, or room, I should say.

I will miss this place a lot, the way so much sun comes in the house the whole day, how when I looked out the windows, there's so much for me to see. I love the comfort in knowing I'll come home and someone will be waiting for me with a hug even on my worst days. I will miss that the most.

But, this strong girl will go and make her home comfortable again. I will make a home in my own house this time.

I have to also start making plans for next year. 2017 just went by so fast I didn't even have time to catch my breath. For starters, more travel plans will be great. There's so much for me to see in the world. I'm fortunate to have this job, so I'll make full use of the cheap tickets and travel perks meanwhile.

That's not bad at all right?

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

What is real and what will never be

We tend to focus on what we needed to believe than what is real. Because sometimes in life, that is the easier path. What I needed was a reason for me to hate you. That is why it is easier for me to believe that whatever we had wasn't real, and all those years were times wasted for us. The more I do that, the more I nitpick on things that can't be helped. The more I blame you for things, the more I led you to believe that you could help us on this one. You could change things, and we could be together. 

I've been selfish all this while because I needed to stay with you, I wanted to be with you. I wish so desperately that you'd forgive me for that.

All this going back and forth and saying things and considering options, in fact, is tearing us apart. It makes me forget about things that are real. It makes me forget that underneath it all, you love me more than I know, or would like to admit.

What is real is that you are the most amazing person I know, and because of you I now know how it is to be treated right. You are my best friend, and lover and all the things I wish for in a husband. You will never be mine, but I'd like to think that I've been privileged to know you. You make me a better person, and you inspire me to make way for my dreams. In all this mess, I sometimes forget that. 

What is real is the way I am when I'm with you, and the way you still make me laugh after all these years. All the sadness and pain we are going through now can never take away that. The good memories made. Everything. I will keep it close to my heart, and remember it all. I am happy with you. I love this person with his flaws and his whole being. I love you. In all this mess, I sometimes choose to not feel that, to not show that. I cower and think that if I show and choose to feel, I'd be more hurt at the end of the day.

But you took away all of that, and even when I think I could not possibly love you more, I'd end up falling for you again and again. So here is my white flag, I surrender. I accepted what will never be, but I will also not shy away from what is real. I will not torment myself on that. I will bask in the things that you did for me, the way you love me, I will feel it all. I am proud of that. Proud of the love we had. 

It will be difficult, to move on, but I will stand back up one day. And you would too. 

I am acknowledging what is real, and accepting what will never be. 

There's something right in that, finally.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

No easy love

"How many times can we pick up the same fight?
Can we keep screaming all night
And make up until it's light?
That's when I say that you're right
And feel your body on mine
Oh maybe that's why I stay

I could be somewhere
Chillin' on the beach
I could be with someone
Makin' me happy
But that would be too easy, love
And I don't want no easy love"

Ice and Fire

It's been a month since my Iceland trip, and by far it's the best trip I've had! So much of the nature and places in Iceland that you think you can only see in movies. Half the place look straight out of the Earth and it really makes you marvel in the power of the Creator.

Six days, and I wanted more!

I've posted tons of photos on social media and one whole album on Facebook just for the trip. Coz we took way too much photos, of basically everything.

Itinerary- wise, we opted for the Ring road, starting from Reykjavik, moving east and making one whole round back to Reykjavik by the end of day 6.

Transport was a 4x4 with a tent attached on top, which is the best as it allows us more flexibility in terms of where to call it a night, especially after long drives. All we needed to do was search for a campsite to park and bathe and cook and sleep before starting afresh the next day.

Awesome ride! It comes with GPS for navigation, and all the gears are loaded inside the car, so you can have a little picnic here and there. How cool is that?

Flight arrangement: Dubai to Frankfurt (Emirates), Frankfurt to Keflavik (Lufthansa)
                                 Keflavik to Amsterdam (Icelandair), Amsterdam to Rome (KLM), Rome to                                           Dubai ( Emirates)

As you can see, the flight return was a bit messed up as  our connecting flight back to Dubai was full, so we had to make a different connection back to Dubai. Hahahaha, perks of being on a standby ticket I guess.

Day 1: The Golden Circle

Keflavik arrival was just after midnight, and the car rental pickup was at 7 am. So we slept at the airport! Hahahaha, never felt so homeless before, but sleeping on a cold hard floor definitely gives you the feels for it.

We decided to go for the Golden circle, which is a short day trip going to the southern part and coming back to Reykjavik for the night. But of course, we could only plan, right?

After groceries, we headed for the Laxness Horse Farm before making our way to Thingvellir National Park. It was sort of dipping our feet in the pool to test the waters, for Iceland I guess. We were so excited when we started the drive because everywhere you look is a photo opportunity!

Getting acquainted with the Icelandic horse.

Standing in between the separated tectonic plates, at Thingvellir. Oh?
Finishing off the Golden circle was two places that's close to each other, the Geysir, and our first of many Iceland waterfalls, the Gullfoss.

Where the exploding geysers are the game in town

Sun setting over Gullfoss. Perfect end to the first day.

Day 1 ended with us camping near Geysir as we were too tired to drive back to Reykjavik. Flexibility is key!

Day 2: Reykjavik and Blue Lagoon

We wanted to just explore Reykjavik itself and relax at the Blue Lagoon, and so we did. Weather was cloudy, which was perfect for the Blue Lagoon, otherwise we'd be sunburnt already.

The water was warm, which was perfect for dipping in the cold 12 degrees weather. And the package we took came with nice silica and algae mask,plus free drinks!

This time around, we drove to camp two hours away so that we can wake up to the Seljalandfoss. We pushed for it even when we were so tired from our long day. Half way driving we decided to take a nap at a petrol station. And that's when the magic happens..

We saw a shooting star with aurora at the same time! I've never seen a shooting star in my whole entire life, so it was the perfect birthday present for me. It's so beautiful I've never seen anything like it... Now you're wondering why there's no photo. I was just enjoying the moment, duhhhh. 

Day 3: Strong Fosses, THAT plane and The Black Sand Beach

My birthday kicked off with two of the most famous waterfalls, located next to each other. The Seljalandfoss, famed for breath-taking sunrise and also Skogafoss, where double rainbows makes it look like the gate to another world.

I know. This place doesn't look real.

Then off to the walk, that changes our lives. Oh no, really. 

A DC-3 plane wreckage sits in Solheimasandur Beach, which is where it's been since it's crash in 1973. Interesting for me as I've never been IN a plane wreck before. The only thing was the walk to the site, which is one hour each way. 

Look how blue the sky is! 

Cool eh? Imagine where the seats are, on my left and right.

Reynisfjara Beach is a different story. Pebbles for sand, black as coal, this beach is definitely unique and have that alien feel to it.

It was featured in the film Noah and Star Wars: Rogue One. Mr Google told me that. Hehe.

Day 4: Ice, Ice Baby!

We began the day slightly earlier this time, going to Fjadrargljufur a very high canyon which is 100m deep and runs about 2km long. Well, looking down from the top definitely made my tummy turns inside out. 

Then, the glacier lagoon awaits! Jokulsarlon is a cool cool place to hang out at, literally. The ice from glaciers wash up ashore, and you can see big, pretty-looking blue ice rocks floating everywhere. As it goes deeper and deeper into winter, more seals will come and stay. And, my oh my, such cute beings them seals are. 

Look at how deep the crack is!

Pretty eh? I love how the blue ice reflects the color of the skies.

Then began our long 6 hours drive crossing the Eastern Fjords to the thermal town, Myvatn.

Day 5: Thermal Town

This town is unique because it's high in volcanic activity. So you'll see openings on the ground here and there where steam escapes. We went to Lake Myvatn, visited the boiling mud pits in Hverir, and wandered inside the hidden water bath at Grjotagja.

I think we can steam an egg here. Smelled like rotten eggs too. 

Blup, blup, the boiling mud goes.

Magical cave, where I wish no one was there, so I can soak in it on my own. Oh, how lovely.

Then off we go, to the most magnificent waterfall I've seen so far... Godafoss.

I'd say it's made for the Gods.

Day 6: Akureyri, I Don't Want to go Home

We explored this second most populated town in Iceland and had a relaxing day just going around and finally splurged on lunch in their local restaurant. Then, we drove another long 5 hours back to Reykjavik where we camp for our final night before leaving for the airport in the wee morning hours.

I was sick of lamb after this meal though. Hahaha, I guess Icelandic food is not for me.

That concludes my 6 days in Iceland! On to more adventures, because I'm hungry for more!

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Are you ready for it?

The birthday month is here! Hahaha I'm always excited when September comes around. Yes, coz EVERYDAY in September is my birthday. I'm blessed with this job, so this year another birthday trip awaits! I'm especially excited for it because it's a destination I've always wanted to explore, and to finally be able to go is a dream come true.

Someone asked me, why do you always obsess yourself with birthdays?

Well, to be honest, I don't actually know since when I've been obsessing about birthdays. But the gist of it all is, isn't it a good thing to celebrate yourself living, and reminiscing your rise and falls throughout the years? If you are unhappy this year, make the change so that by the time you look back next year, there's something to be happy about. Besides, who else but you, can genuinely celebrate yourself?

There's beauty in birthdays in a sense that it gives me that reminder to never stop loving myself. And a lot can come from that. Self loving goes a long way for a better, happier you!


Anyways...Five more days to the trip, I could hardly wait.


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

There's someplace I'd rather be


It's very frustrating for me to not be able to swap my flight to go home, especially to be missing my family trip and the upcoming Eid. I saw photos and I'm like green all the way with envy, because I wanted to be there too! I wanna play sandcastles with my nieces by the beach, and take cute photos for them at the 3D museum, and and and take them on a cable car ride. Oh, how nice.

Instead here I am sitting at home contemplating on where to spend my family time next. That will be all the way in December! It feels so far away.. Three more months of me missing my little angels. 

Looks like they're having fun without me.. sobs.

And since when my little babies become such posers anyway? 

See you not so very soon my loves.