Thursday, October 29, 2009

DAY ONE

waking up today, the first thing i felt was the pain. then the emptiness of everything. i know this was gonna be hard, my days are gonna be hard. and i started crying once again. i'm not mad at life, nor am i mad at him. i'm mad at myself as i have loved someone ever so truly for two years. i'm mad at myself as i'm not capable of hating him.mostly, i'm mad at myself for letting him hurt me.

after all the love i gave, the sacrifices i made, why, ouh why are u treating me this way? why come to me in the first place?

i remembered asking u the night before we met yesterday. i asked whether there's someone in ur heart, tell me so i can let u go. u said no. i was the only one that u loved. the only one that u had ever known u could love. ouhhhhh, how sweet. only tht it was a TOTAL LIE. havent u realize, tht i was the one who was there for u everytime u needed me? tht i was the one who defended u, who trusted u, when everyone else is turning their back on u? havent u realize, tht i was the one who love u for who u are? i never complain much, i accept u for all ur weaknesses. and yet, u have the heart to dump me in the most pathetic way.

well, u should've said tht u want a break up. be a man, say it in front of me. wht u did yesterday, showed me wht a coward u are. yeah, a coward.

u're a good friend for ur friends, a good son for ur parents, a good brother for ur siblings, a good guy in public. but u're a complete JERK for a boyfriend. i was ur friend before i was ur gf, didnt u ever considered tht before u did wht u did? ouh, i forgot how selfish u are. now i rmmbr.

gosh. i miss baby sofia. i know i'll never get to see her again, and tht hurts me too. why be so mean, aizat? i never did anything bad to u. never.

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