Thursday, December 31, 2009

santa says, goodbye 2009.

waktu christmas tgkap gamba xnk upload. nahh. amek kau. ;)

gelak ketawa menghiasi starbucks yang sunyi sepi.

okay. new year banyak resolusi. samsung corby salah satu daripadanya. ;) yang saya nak carry forward ke next year ialah diri saya dan azam2 yang tinggi menggunung. ouh yeah, saya berazam nak jugak try fly nnt. but i still dont know how. haish.


LOYAL is a simple word, however it carries a very heavy meaning.

faithful to one's sovereign, government, or state: a loyal subject.
faithful to one's oath, commitments, or obligations: to be loyal to a vow.
faithful to any leader, party, or cause, or to any person or thing conceived as deserving fidelity: a loyal friend.
characterized by or showing faithfulness to commitments, vows, allegiance, obligations, etc.: loyal conduct.

simple, because its a word with only five letter. easy to pronounce, easy to remember. to apply it, or to really BE it is hard for certain people. yes, i find that its very true indeed.

first my dad, he cant be loyal. for a fact, i still dont understand why. until now, he just refused to be honest with my siblings and i, well maybe tell to our face that he has a second wife. he cant be loyal to my mom. that's the first loyal that i learn.

then, i learn through relationships. i learn how to be loyal to someone. to give all of my love for him. to make him happy. to love him, no matter what. and i quickly forget the people around me.

then, i learn that loyalty can be broken. TRUST, which is like a sibling to the word loyal, can also be betrayed. i learn that loyalty can be said in words, which are called lies. i learn that the word loyal alone causes pain.

with the pain, i discovered another type of loyal. its the most beautiful of all. the loyalty of friends and family. to have a shoulder to cry on, to depend on them at the point where i am weakest, to know that they'll always be there for me no matter what. the feeling is just, amazing. i love this type of loyal. and will always do.

so, at the end of the day. i cant blame the word loyal for causing so much pain. because it also brings me all the happiness. i can never trade it with another word this year.


i am sad to leave 2009, but i am satisfied that i have make full use of it till now. welcome 2010! i'm looking forward to start a new journey with u. ;D

Tuesday, December 29, 2009


if all of u were to be at my best friend's house last two days, u guys will think that i've become nuts. well, i had a lot of fun there. most of it come from indulging myself in food, food, food. what's more fun way to gain some kilo's other than gaining those extra fats with ur dearest friend? *okay. ready, get set, go!* tema dua hari tersebut adalah: marila bergemuk bersama. ;)

the moment i arrived there, i had to go to a kenduri of zana's neighbour= sesi makan sampai gemuk 1. *before that da lahap mkn sewaktu hantar sharina pulang ke johore. hehe. *

the next day, zana took the liberty of becoming the chef, and me co-chef and the dish for the day is: tomyam. bermacam2 ragam kami memasak,*walaupun sy hanya tukang rase aje.* akhirnye, dapatlah juga makan tomyam bersama bihun= sesi makan sampai gemuk 2.

petang tu, craving for food. jadi makanlah biskut jacob's banyak3 ngn milo= sesi makan sampai gemuk 3.

that night, aunty lin cooked masak lemak jantung pisang. which was amazingly delicious. i'm a first timer- bru nk blaja makan jantung pisang ngn jeruk limau. hee. tapi serious sedap. thanks aunty! =sesi makan sampai gemuk 4.

that same night, aunty lin baked bread for us. (hotdog bread, and bread with red bean paste filling) the fact that i loooovvvve bread so much, plus bread tu tersgtla sedap, sy pn bantai sampai empat roti. =sesi makan sampai gemuk 5.

waaaah. i'm sooo full at the end of the night that i quickly fell asleep, soundlessly.*kan2? x berdengkur kan zana?* i came home this morning, btw.

anyway, back to the part where u think i am probably nuts. haha. its nothing actually, i've been talling, or nagging to zana about my future plans and melarat sampai ke cucu cicit. last2 dye malas nk dgr, and i ended up talking to myself. which is, uh oh. uh oh. creepy~

attn: sejuta thanks to zana and her family for taking me in, those two days. dan lebey2 billion thanks to zana kerana sama2 menggemukkan diri bersama saya. love ya lots! muaah. ;))

Monday, December 28, 2009

asam pedas ketam

semalam saya yang jarang2 sampai ke johore telah berjaya menjejakkan kaki ke sana. no, bukan australia idaman kalbu. johore sahaja, okay. jadi hari ini, saya ingin membicarakan lauk asam pedas, kebanggaan melaka. di melaka ney, ada satu kedai asam pedas yang memang favourite kami adik beradik.( toncet, me and sharina) kedai tu ade dekat2 ngan mahkota parade, ape namanye, saya pun x igt. tapi memang best la asam pedas dye.

ni nk dijadikan cerita, ble saya menghantar sharina kembali ke kampusnye di uthm johore, kami telah singgah makan di sebuah kedai asam pedas. 'KEDAI ASAM PEDAS MAK PON', nama dye tersemat dalam pale otak kami semua kerana... asam pedas dye jauh lebih sedap daripada kedai yang selalu kami kunjungi. aaaaaah. yang penting kami kenyang makan di situ. smlm juga, first time saya makan ikan yang rasenye ala2 ketam dan ayam. yupp. sedaaappppp sgt! hee.

and sharina was the first to leave home, ruma da kembali senyap sedikit. i'm leaving on 2nd january, coz i cant stand going back to subang this time. new year in melaka, here i come. =)

Friday, December 25, 2009

nine minus one.

i missed falling in love. no, not the person i was once in love with. i just missed the feeling, like i'm on cloud nine. am i feeling it now? yes? maybe? no?

another answer: i dont dare to feel that way again. sekian, terima kasih. :)

result pmr sy adalah..

today, is like a big day for me. eventhough i'm not the one who's taking my pmr results, i'm still nervous for toncet. hehe.*i've been nervous all the time in subang, u see.* so, smlm dgn segeranye sy bergegas ke rumah dr subang untuk spend time with both my sisters today. but shit always happen right?

i dont mean to be upset on simple things, but sharina doesnt seem to understand sometimes. i am so proud of toncet's result, although she seems sad about it. and i tried so hard to cheer her up today. i expect the same from sharina too. but she just refused to spend time with me and toncet. come on, all i'm asking is for her to spend some time with us. it wasnt supposed to be hard when we're sisters right? okay, whatever. at least me, toncet and nadia still had fun. wish u were there too, though. but sometimes i'm tired of being the middle person who always have to be there, trying to make u and toncet happy. when are u gonna start trying too, sharina?

attn: i'm very proud of u toncet, no matter what. love ya lots. and sharina too.
attn2: cerita2 sy di subang akan di update tmrw. i had so much fun those 3 days, and i miss spending time with my friends there. huuu.
attn3: hehe. i've not found that special someone yet. kat fb n ms saje nk ade imaginary bf. ;)

last sekali, nk ckp:

Monday, December 21, 2009

up, up and away!

i'm extremely hungry right now part of the reason, maybe because i have to wake up early today. well, not exactly early. 11 am to be precise. some of u guys might be wondering, why on earth anak encik ahmad ni tbe2 smgt nk bgn pg2 kan? thanks to sharina, who picked the wrong day for us to make sushi. the thing is, i'm about to go back to subang at 3 pm today. thts why i have to wake up wayy early just so tht i manage to make and eat the sushi in time. *i know, bley bli aje sushi tu. but i want the home made one. with lots and lots and lots of fillings.*

anyway, i'm gonna be away for a few days. i'm not going back to subang to start my new sem, i just had plans with some of my friends there. right now i'm sitting in front of the computer, still havent take a shower, and i'm hoping i'm smelling nice. and i'm wondering when shamil will finally get up and fetch me and apek. please, i need to bathe soon.

hee. but luckily, sushi dah siap. and i'm going to eat now!

erm, can i wish for another thing for christmas? i wish that i'll lose weight magically, eventhough i ate like a pig. ;)

Saturday, December 19, 2009


its funny because i went out today, and suddenly i'm reminded of my first unspoken love for someone by the name muhammad hanis. yes, its unspoken love ouh. i had a crush on him for more than 2 years. haha. well, i dont even remember his face now. too bad. i hope things will go that way for aizat too. haha. i could only wish.

i've been thinking a lot about the future actually. specifically, merangka first date nk ke mne with my next bf. haha. i know, i know. azam tahun baru nk bercuti dari bercinta konon. tapi x sala berangan kn?

okayy. first date, wajib makan di restoran ayam penyet ria cawangan sunway pyramid. haha. my fave restaurant awww. sy repeat, wajib. okay?

kne minum snow shake bubble tea, chocolate flavor. kena, mknenye x wajib la taw.

have to go ice skating, on our first date. *melampau ka? bknnye ape, sy x pernah lg ber ice skating slama sy hidup neyy. huu* pathethic. but have to jugak!

yg laen, akan difikirkan nnt. spe2 yg nk buat perkara di atas, marilah. sila isi borang. ;PP

lps tu, kami kawen nnt, sume org akn djemput. no worries. ;))

here i am, talking about my first everything. yeah. i remember all my firsts. ;)

first school: sk sacred heart.
first bestfiend: joan quek jo yee, we're bff when i'm in standard 5.
first love: muhammad hanis.
first kiss: he who must not be named. *voldemort kot. lol.*
first scar: when i was three, at my forehead. i hit the wall hard, coz my brother pushed me.
first date: with nazmee.
first job: cleaner at a guys dormitory. no. SERIOUSLY.

well, cant think of anymore firsts. ngahaaa. but i wanted to write about my first hubby, first child, first i dont know. i'm talking crap.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

awal muharam

saya semestinya tidak pasti akan fakta ini. cuma baru diberitahu ibunda bahawa esok, yakni hari jumaat adalah hari awal muharam. alias juga tahun baru dalam kalendar islam. di kala org laen sedang sibuk kumpulkan azam tahun baru (bagi masihi),saya pula baru nak menulis azam tahun baru saya yang dimulakan dengan tahun islam. okay, sila baca perlahan2.

1. sudah semestinya kurangkan bermain dan tingkatkan prestasi untuk cover balik result saya yang agak teruk untuk sem ini.* juga untuk mengelakkan diri dari terpaksa kahwin setelah tamat sem 2*

2. berusaha agar result SANGAT GEMPAK, supaya boleh bertukar penaja dan mendapat tajaan ke luar negara. this is because, everybody's (close friends and the ppl i envy) leaving to study abroad after i finish my foundation. and i dont wanna be stuck here in subang for another 3 years without my close friends, whom i hangout with.

3. membahagiakan ibu dan bapa, *part of the reason is, one of their child get to study abroad.* kne jugak tukar sponsor. isk3.

4. take a long break from the WORLD OF LOVE. kali ini, saya kena betul2 melihat dan memilih dengan teliti sebelum membiarkan diri saya jatuh ke dalam gaung lagi. yeahhh. kata mama, banyak lagi masa, dan ramai lagi calon2 yang menanti untuk dipilih.

5. menjadi seorang yang lebih berfikir sebelum membuat sesuatu, dan tidak akan end up menyesali segala yang pernah dilakukan. betol, saya perlu belajar menjadi lebih matang.

6. menjadi seorang yang lebih penyabar, pemaaf, memahami, optimistik dan dalam kata lain, menjadi lebih positive tehadap life. ( i know that i'm gonna be facing a lot of hardships next year, but i will and have to be strong.) superwoman rocks, yawww!

7. sungguhpun saya ingin menjadi seperti kriteria no.6,saya juga ingin menjadi diri yang tidak terlalu naif, dan mudah ditipu dan dipijak kepalanya. i'm talking from experience, ppl. well, it still hurts from before. but i'm over it, and i'm so happy now. ;)

selebihnya, maybe akan menjadi azam tahun baru saya versi kalendar masihi. sekian, terima kasih.
ouh, ya. jangan lupa. saya teringin benar membuat wishlist christmas saya. takot terlambat. xpelah. maybe pada next post, okay.
and, jgn wonder kenapa saya bebahasa baku bahasa melayu secara tiba2. ini semua gara2, perubahan mood. juga kerana ketidakstabilan hormon.

akhir kata,
selamat menyambut awal muharam!

Monday, December 14, 2009

ayah mithali

my dad is rarely at home. he's home once a week maybe? and this holiday, my ultimate "to- do thing" in my "to- do list" is

to be a good kid, and listen to mummy and daddy.

which includes, less going out and hanging out with friends. and a curfew of 9 pm if i did went out. *well, the curfew is set by myself though. hehe.* anyway, a few days ago i decided to spend some time hanging out with apek and shamil. i've been spending my time at home all week, so i figured maybe i deserve to go out and have fun for a day. its not like i go out for everyday right? coincidently, my dad came home as i was about to go out.

"ko ney, asyik kluar aje. isk. x reti duduk rumah betol." says my dad.

i was like, wht??? u're not even at home all the time, and u're telling me tht i go out all the time? okay, tell me how does tht make sense.

Friday, December 11, 2009



I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy x2

Love, love hides in a smoky light
And I can never find the truth
Boy, your touches leave me mystified
And I wish I could believe in you

Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't want me
You just like the attention
Yes it's all false love and affection
You don't like me
You just want the attention

I'm not your toy
This isn't another girl meets boy x3

haha. sing this to ur ex boyfriend. i love, love, love this song!

piggie bank me.

the thing i hate most about break ups: the way it leaves me with zero level of self-confidence, thank you.

i've ended my previous relationship for more than a month now, and i cant help but notice a similar pattern of thinking that i tend to have. now, i feel good going out with friends, but i cant help but feel OVER self-conscious around them. deciding on my outfit is hell for me. i feel fat all the time. i feel ugly, and when i open my closet which is full of garments, i still end up being depressed about having nothing to wear. yesss, my wardrobe needs to be updated now. but that will leave me being broke. i already am anyway. so please, money. can u start growing on trees now?

i used to not care so much about how my hair looked like, my body, my skin, the way i speak, EVERYTHING. i used to just 'go with the flow', so they say. but now, I AM OBSESSED with my looks. i just wanna look prettier. is that wrong? just so that i could feel good about myself once again. i dont wanna look in the mirror and feel like a total shit. (ouh yeah, i feel that way now.)

so friends, i need help. maybe u can suggest wht i should do with my hair to begin with. and NO. i dont wanna cut it short, i'll look like a FAT PIG having a mini wig then. well, u know wht i mean. ;)

Thursday, December 10, 2009


the biggest news in the world, now is...... no, just in sunway college. and no, just for MUFY students only. hey, our finals results are finally out. maybe i'm a little outdated because i only went to check my results after several friends called and texted me. but, yeahhhh. i've viewed my results.* after cursing in front of my computer for ten minutes, because i cant view the fucking page, only to discover later tht i had typed the wrong address. i know, smack me pleaseeee.* i couldnt say that i wasnt satisfied, but i just wished that i had done better. it was not enough for the requirement of jpa, but enough to get me to monash at least. i AM thankful that i had passed my chemistry, but not with flying colours unfortunately. issskkkk. okay, i need a brain transplant.

text me if u need anything. i'm totally disconnected from the cyber world these days. =)

Friday, December 04, 2009

talk about new bf.

during the time that i was gone, i revisited my childhood memories, and i believe now that memories are never meant to be forgotten. be it the happy ones, or the sad ones. even the ones we refused to remember, will stay there. simply because they are memories. okay, lets put it in a telenovela version. imagine urself as the poor girl who loses ur memory because u had hit ur head pretty bad in a car accident. u dont know who u are, or how u had come to be who u are at that time. i'm pretty sure u feel, EMPTY.

anyway, back to the story. as usual, my family and i celebrated eid adha at my granny's, in petaling. nothing much to tell about raya, except that its FREAKING HOT the whole day, tht it gives me headache. no, seriously. i was sweating and sitting in front of the fan, but still, its HOT. *mungkin juga kerana sy suda byk berdosa, kata rakan2.* who knows? haha.

the next day, all of us went to kedah. my cousin's having a wedding, so we spent another 4 days there before going back home. the journey from kedah to melaka,took around 8 hours, vice-versa. which is, time consuming, energy draining, butt hurting, along with everything else, u can imagine. still, it felt good to finally be able to gather all my family members under one roof. but, of course the feeling only lasted before all the arguing and cursing began. ;P yeah, thts my family. all in all, we had a safe trip and reached home safely two days ago.

approximately 2 hours after reaching home, la sistas a.k.a charlie's angels went to catch korean pop star, RAIN, in action for ninja assassin. i can say that his more buffed body is intimidating and worth drooling for. same goes for taylor lautner, in new moon, which i had watched online yesterday. (okay, see? i'm never discussing the movies, but the HOT guys in it.) haha. its never wrong to dream right? naaaaah. my next boyfriend will be buff. i've decided on that. =)

wait. wait. wait. not TOO BUFF. thts just creepy. i want JUST NICE BUFF. okay?