Thursday, January 07, 2010

on something recent

what more can we save? there's nothing left. even to walk on the same street, exchange glances, and look away, that's too much for us. i learnt from bio that heart is a myogenic organ. that it has its own mechanism. that's so true. obviously my brain cant control the rhythm of my heart. in which it gets faster everytime that u're near. i thought that its beat, should get normal by now. but it didnt. my brain shut u down, but my heart is completely unnafected.

yes, i chose to remember only the good values in u. and i'd like to believe that someday u'll grow up and be a real man. we all make mistakes, and sometimes we didnt know how bad the consequences will be. we being together was a mistake in the first place, and the consequences are hard to bear,definitely. but the thing that i'm most afraid of now is that, i just might turn into someone like u.

the mistakes u made, i'm afraid of repeating it. i'm afraid of doing that to someone else. maybe i had did that already. u certainly taught me well, that i dont feel whatever things that i was doing which was similar to u, wrong. and it scares me. it scares me to hurt others the same way u did. but can i help it now? i hope i can. i know i'm a billion times better than u. GOD, let me be a billion times better than u. and i choose to be better than u. i'm gonna bring happiness, and only happiness. u might make my heart beat faster, but there's others who's heart is beating faster because of me. so, live with it.


yana.kulup said...

well,u're a whole lot better than that.
and that's fact.
sooooo.please,behave ya jeje,u know how it feels right.

Nur Shakhina Ahmad said...

i'm behaving deeb.