Saturday, January 30, 2010

a real gentleman

this is what i see in our society today. LOTS OF gentleman, in love. what do i mean by that? a sweetheart, they are sweet-talkers, flower-givers, poem writers. they held ur hands, handbags, ur purchases. they carry u when u're tired, wait for u no matter how slow u walk. they are generous, pay for ur every expenses, that is without whining. they queue for ur food, anything else baby? that's their question. well, sweet guy they were, before they tie the knot.

how many real gentlemen they are left after they get married? and how many are left after they have kids?
the reality is, we women will be the ones who'll be left walking behind when we go shopping, we have to pay for our own purchases, we queue, but they sit waiting for us to buy food, we'll be the ones who'll be up in the middle of the night taking care of the babies, we'll do almost everything, sadly, on our own. and finally, my dad's not a real gentleman, i'm willing to admit that.

see, when i got home two days ago, my mom's like a single mom with three kids.*that is my two younger brother and my sister at home* i'm actually like a stranger, watching everyone there. dad's not home at all. at least he was home when i was a lot younger. i resented the fact that my two younger brother have to grow up with his absence all this while. i resented the fact that my mom slept alone at night. i resented the fact that he was not there and i miss him. i dont get it sometimes. what is there to hide anymore? the cracks are already there, why cant we all know the truth? it might hurt us all, but its gotta be better somehow.

i watched my friend's dad, and how close they were. i cant help but wishing for the same thing for us. how did we end up being like this? as much as i wanna hate u, u're still my dad. and forever will be. i wish u were here, dad. i miss u.


nadd. said...

the norms of life came across my mind sometimes.but strong.take care!

Nur Shakhina Ahmad said...

yup. life's like tht. take it, or leave it. ;)