Thursday, March 18, 2010

neveready.

three months. i'm always bound to be in a relationship for that period of time, but never more. well, there's one relationship which lasted for more than that, but let's just save our time from hearing that story, AGAIN. anyway, i dont quite know why i tend to get tired of a person after three months. the first two months was okay, but then it just got too intense for me that i simply have to leave.

its the same case this time.no, stop right there. i'm not in a relationship now. but, i'm trying to get to know this particular guy, we get along well. but i'm not interested in him anymore, after about three months being friends with him. can you relate to that now?

remember i told you guys that i'm finally ready to get involved in a new relationship? okay, i might have lied. i think i'm just not ready for any of that yet. i may have whined a lot before, about not having a boyfriend and stuff. but, the truth is, i'm not ready. the wounds of my heartbreak may have healed, but the scar remains there. i'm acknowledging the fact that it's gonna take more time for me to build up my trust for others. heyy, no worries. i will be in a relationship someday, but only with the guy who meets my criteria. yes, i've set my standard this time. and i'm not gonna settle for something less than that.

here's what's hard for me: i dont realize that i've actually toyed with someone else's heart, until yesterday. it is irony for me, as i'm doing exactly what aizat was doing to me before and immediately, i feel bad about it. the right thing to do is, to stop whatever i was doing. yet its hard to break someone's heart. but, i've put down my feet on this matter. and i hope that it doesnt ruin anything. i know that the damage is done. still, it wont hurt to try to mend it right?

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