Monday, March 22, 2010

ohana

my weekend was spent in melaka. i came back home after about a month, and there's already so many changes. it scares me. i've always thought that family relations, whatever it is, will stay in tact. of course, i value my family more than anything else in this world. i guess no matter how hard u try, when someone close to u set a distance, its gonna be hard for u to keep up.

i'm very close with my sisters, since we were very young. yeah, we argue a lot. but at the end of the day, all that matters is that we're sisters. i want things to be that way too, this time. i've tried. but it looks like its not gonna happen. i know what's right to do. i'll admit that i'm protective of my sisters. especially my younger one. she's a lot similar to me, compared to sharina. therefore, we're closer. it's just that with things that have been happening to her at school, and everything, it makes me worry about her most of the time. i cant sleep well at night, worrying about her. maybe she didnt know that. i came all the way back to melaka just to see how she's doing. sadly, when i was there being a sister to her, she said that i dont understand her anymore.

it breaks my heart, more than anything to watch someone close to me drift away. i didnt want her to repeat my mistakes, that's why i care. i dont want to see her get hurt. there was never a restriction from me, of who her friends is. i persuade mom and dad to give her a little freedom. i've always been so supportive of her. and yet, it was not enough. she had friends now. she didnt need her sister anymore. that's a fact that i have to deal with. coz its not easy.

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