Sunday, May 30, 2010

Esok Raya!


Saya pemegang cap mohor diraja, dengan ini mengisytiharkan bahawa pada tanggal 31 Mei 2010, bersamaan dengan esok, adalah hari raya! hahahahahaa. super excited and high since tomorrow is my last paper! Although i'm quite worried since its bio, but i cant stop myself from feeling overjoyed. :))

Its gonna be my last day as a student in sunway college, lots of memories created there, and i'm sure i'll cherish it forever. I'll be posting a post dedicated to mufy, so bear with me yeah.

Meanwhile, let me finish studying primates and stuff. I'd hate myself if i enter the exam hall unprepared. hehe.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Cut

I'm pretty sure all of you girls out there have your own bff, kan? The one you'll call when you're down, that one person you love to gossip with, your crying shoulder when the world is coming down on you. And that person you love to share your silly jokes with, the one who understands you no matter what language you might be speaking,*tamil pun can understand taw*, that one person who can read you, you know, THAT ONE PERSON.

Nahh. I'm not gonna talk about my bff today. I'm sure you guys know who you are kan, bffs? Lately, I discovered that trust can go "poof" in a matter of minutes. If only the trust build was for a short time, it doesnt matter. But the trust you build since the day you were born is something totally different. You see, if you're a frequent reader, you'll know that i have a cousin that I LOVE LOVE LOVE! My closest cousin. We're only two years apart from each other, yet we got along well, and we shared everything with each other! I remembered when we were much younger, mandi pun sama taw. ;P haha. Well, that was all the good times, kan?

And so it hurts me more than anything in the world when she's turning her back on me. I'm not mad at her at all, for thinking of all the bad things i could've done. I'm only mad at the fact that someone's willing to destroy the trust that we both build for 19 years. Putting myself in her shoes, I could understand why she chose to listen to the words of others instead of asking me the truth. I had believed that, of all the people in the world, she's the one who understands me most. NOW I KNOW THE POWER OF WORDS. When you twist it in whichever way that's convenient to you, a bond can be broken. Yeah, and its a strong one.

Its devastating when things like this happen, but i hope that its only temporary. You're my bestest babe, and I hope you can see that clearly. Have a moment to think, how well you've known me. Nothing else matter after that.





:(( enough said.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

When YOU are the third person.

Now i know how it feels like to be the second woman, and the third person in a relationship. Nah, i dont like the feeling. And anyway, are you kidding me? I’m wayyy better than that. I’m wayyy classier to be the second woman. You cant fool me into believing that you’re single. I’m wayyy smarter than that. I might enjoy your company, but you see, i got bored easily. You’ll stay for now, byebye later though. :)

Friday, May 21, 2010

I feel alone here, and cold here.

I've been sitting in front of my laptop for the past three hours. My chemistry books is on my side, and i havent touch it. Not even once. I feel awful today. I dont even know why, maybe its the fact that everyone's turning their back on me. Its funny, but i feel like I'm all alone now. No one to really talk to, no one who really understands, no one there when I'm down. No one. I miss the times when i could just walk into my friend's room and spill everything, cry all i want, curse all i want. There'll always be someone who'll listen, someone to tell me that everything's gonna be okay. I have people to listen to me now, but what's the point if I can't let it all out? And so there's me again, all alone, bottling everything up inside.

Sometimes i just wonder, why can't we stay in the past? Everything's so wonderful back then, we were all so young, so naive, so full of things we haven't discover yet. And we haven't lost our close friends, we haven't drift apart from each other, we still care. ;(

Be okay, taw?

I’m worried about apek. I texted and called, but he was still not in the mood to talk. I hope that he’s doing okay though. I miss him a lot lately. My favorite clown, my sunshine. ;(

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

And to HIM we return to

INNALILLAHIWAINNAILAIHIRAJIUN~

Yesterday morning while i was in class, i received a shocking news. A very close friend of mine, apek, had lost his father. His dad passed away early in the morning because of high blood pressure. I know that apek didn't take it all well, because he seems okay the previous day. I feel sad for him, and wanted nothing more than to see if he's okay.

And so me,haziq, haliq and aizat went to melaka to go see him. We left from college and reach melaka at 2pm. The deceased was already buried at that time. Upon seeing apek, he seemed so lost, and it made me cry. he's a good friend, and he's always there during my hard times. i love him for making me laugh, no matter how hard things are.he's like a brother i wish i had. it saddened me that i couldnt do the same for him. my deepest condolences to him, and his family. i hope that they'll be strong through all of this. and i hope that he didnt lose faith in himself and his studies. i know that its hard for him, but i want him to get back up and be strong for his family. so everyone, lets put our hands together and read AL FATIHAH for allayarham and send him some prayers. May he rest in peace.

Yesterday, i certainly am thankful to aizat for taking me along to visit apek. Although we're not really on talking terms, i really really appreciate what he did for apek. In a way, i'm grateful that he's still a great friend, as always.

And to everyone who's reading, pray for my success okay? my first final paper is tomorrow, and i might be a lil busy after this, but i'll keep posting. no worries! :)

Monday, May 17, 2010

listen to this. it says exactly how i'm feeling now.

B.O.B ft Hayley Williams: Airplanes
Hayley:
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now... See More

B.o.B:
Yeah, I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this
Cause after all the partying, the smashin' and crashin'
And all the glips and the glam and the fashion
And all the pandemonium and all the madness
There comes a time where you fade to the blackness
And when you starin' at that phone in your lap
And you hopin' but them people never call you back
But that's just how the story unfolds
You get another hand soon after you fold
And when your plans unravel in the sand
What would you wish for if you had one chance
So airplane, airplane sorry I'm late
I'm on my way so don't close that gate
If I don't make that, then I switch my flight
And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Hayley:
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

B.o.B:
Yeah, yeah
Somebody take me back to the days
Before this was a job
Before I got payed
Before it ever matter what I had in my bank
Yeah, back when I was tryin' to get a tip at Subway
And back when I was rappin' for the hell of it
But now a days we rappin' to stay relevant
I'm guessin' that if we can make some wishes outta airplanes, then maybe oh maybe I'd go back to the days
Before the politics that we called a rap game
And back when ain't nobody listened to my mix tape
And back before I tried to cover up my slang
But this is for Decatur what's up Bobby Ray
So can I get a wish, to end the politics
And get back to the music that started this shit
So here I stand and then again I say
I'm hopin' we can make some wishes outta airplanes

Hayley:
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now

B.o.B
I could really use a wish right now (Hayley: Oh oh oh oh oh)
I, I, I could really use a wish right now
Like, like, like shooting stars (Hayley: Oh oh ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah)
I, I, I could, I could really use a wish right now
A wish, a wish right now

Sunday, May 16, 2010

a prayer

I know that nothing's gonna be easy. I'm so close to giving up, but i dont wanna be a quitter. Just a lil bit more. I have to go all the way, and never look back. Heart, please be strong. I know I can do this. There are people who believe in me, so i gotta believe in myself.

YA ALLAH, BLESS ME WITH A STRONG WILL TO SUCCEED, BLESS ME WITH A PURE HEART, AND PLEASE PROTECT ME FROM THE EVIL INTENTION OF OTHERS. AMINNNN~

wheel of fortune


ni gamba nak campak mimi dalam swimming pool. ;P
the birthday bash was a huge success! i cant even describe how happy i was to see the smile plastered on the kids birthday. it was priceless. although they are a few mishaps and all during the planning of the event and on the day of the event itself, but i'm simply glad that its over now. it was tiring, but hell worth it.

yeahh. trials are over now. and it feels as if finals are over too! maybe its because of the fact that i'm fully prepared and there's no last minute studying involved, which is thanks to hilmey for pushing me to the edge that i have to prepare everything in advance.it felt good answering the questions with confidence, and i think i'm fully prepared for my finals this time. however, bio is another story. that paper, is the one i have to go all out for. since we dont have trials for bio, so i'm a lil insecure as to what my results might be. its time to struggle now i guess. first paper is on thursday, which is english. ;)

there's a lot of things that have been happening to me lately. there are always ups and downs in everything in life kan? well, i'm on the downs now. i believe that when i'm in need of help, its not wrong to be the hand to ask, because i might be the hand that will give, in return, one day. and so, that's what i'm doing now. bowing my head low, and putting my pride aside, and acknowledging the fact that i am indeed in need of help. i can honestly say that i'm proud to have such amazing friends who stayed with me no matter what. and i am forever grateful for the things that they had done for me. thank you again guys. ;)

moving on, lets talk about my graduation night. which leaves me scratching my head now. i'm officially dateless! how's that for a change? errrr, i know i needed a date, but i'm awfully lazy to think of one. might as well go alone kan? at least my gay friend will be there, and my friends too. i'm gonna have a great time, why bother? :)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Friends for keep

I’m thankful that i have friends who are always there for me when i’m in need of help. nuf said. thank you so much! I really appreciate it. :)

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Not again? ;(

why is it always me who meets the wrong person?

Critical times

Its 3 days before the birthday bash and im still running around trying to get thgs done for the party! presents and food are taken care of, im left with the venue, guests list and stuff. im also nervous for my trials on thursday and friday. hopefully i’ll do well for all the papers. huu, i hope tht aftr all the effort i’ve put in planning the party and my studies, i can make it both a success.

ouh yeah, good news! i’ve got my bio marks just now, and i did okay. :) although my bio teacher’s not very fond of me, at least i scored, right? anyways, im going out again with hilmey to get some stuff done. im going to be busy after this, i know i will. haha.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

selfish much?


these days i rarely stayed at home after college. i'm with hilmey all the time, not because i'm dating him or anything like that. its just that we have a lot of things to do together. so, my absence might have cause some of my closest friends here to feel like i've abandoned them for some guy. it hurts me, when things like this happen. mimi, merah and diana's birthday is within one week range, and i've worked so hard to plan for their surprise birthday party. keeping it a secret is one thing, handling the presents, food and stuff is another. i dont really mind handling these stuff although its a week before my finals, i'm just whining because when something goes wrong i'm the one who's blamed.

imagine right after college i'll be out until 2 in the morning? when i got back home, i'll do my homework till 3.30 before waking up at 6 for class the next day. that's practically my schedule this week.i think i deserve to whine right? its not fair to think that i'm selfish, when all that i was trying to do was trying to make the party a huge success. maybe because its the fact that they didnt know in the first place.but i noticed the distance lately. i'm tired, i really am. with things to do with hilmey, the party stuff, present hunting, spending time with my gay friend, exams, family problems, there's really too many things on my plate now. i'm juggling stuff, because i'm not willing to miss anything. last night i missed the birthday countdown because i was stucked in jam with hilmey while present hunting for the girls. yeah, i've forgotten the slice of cake they ordered. i'm human, not a robot, for God's sake! present hunting for 3 person, took me the whole day. i did it alone, and yet i'm the one you assumed selfish?

sometimes i just wonder, what is it that's lacking? haven't i done enough? i love everyone, so why cant everyone love me the same?

Friday, May 07, 2010

I dont know what i’ve gotten myself into. the previous three days was spent to waste. i got home at 3am most days and dont really have time to do my work, and im awfully tired the next day because of my lack of sleep! i’m involved with kind, healthy people but i still got home late now. wth? my brain needs to take a break. ;(

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Akhirnya selesai test bio! i dont really know why did i take bio in the first place. being an ex student of a science school might be the factor. but as i study biology deeper, i know that it is not my passion and forcing myself to study it only shows its impact with my poor grades for my tests. for one thing, i know for sure that i love chemistry! its the subject that i scored well, and am always passionate about. then again,no point in debating this matter as my scholar body is sponsoring me for biotech. like seriously, do i have a choice?

i never thought that i’d grew up and be like this. so helpless, and clueless on what i’d like to be. when i was younger, i thought that i had everything planned out for myself. i thought that i already figure everything out. i thought that i’ll be the one who’ll make my parents proud. suddenly, everything is not so easy anymore. i know that God have something good planned for us, but what if i had made the wrong choice in the first place?

i’m thinking of changing my course, its just that i dont know if i can make it possible. ;(

Monday, May 03, 2010

Hai, nama saya salmah. awak? saloma?

its 1 am in the morning and im still awake, trying to finish reading bio stuff. am having the test on wednesday. i must admit that this is only the beginning of my critical times for my finals. i’ve been updating my blog through my phone lately, which only shows how busy i am. huh. i know, just another month, and i’ll be free from all of this. patience, that’s all i need.

and this weekend wasnt so bad afterall. i went out with my gay friend and his friends as planned yesterday. hahaha. i think i dah jumpe geng karaoke baru! well, ths weekend is about expanding my friends list is it? tapi merajuk pulak dgn apek and shamil yang balik melaka tak bgtahu. ;(

Sunday, May 02, 2010

:)

If im updating my blog, tht means tht i arrived at home safely la kan. everything went well, just now. hilmey was nice. and so are his friends! although they seemed to be a lil older than i am, still, i love the fact that they’re treating me well. finally i’ve found the crowd whom i liked to be friend with. Hehe.

hey guys, i know u’ve been wondering who’s ths hilmey guy? he’s actually a friend whom i knew through a friend of mine, nilda. i only had the chance of meeting him just now, since we became acquainted recently. hanging out with his crowd was something i’m actually thankful about, because i know it’ll be awkward if its only the two of us. conclusion is, he’d quite proven tht he didn’t mean any harm, and i’m fine with that.

ouhh. i miss lepaking with apek, adam and shamil. everyone’s just so busy these days that we rarely make time for each other. i really really miss my boys. ;( anyway, today i was supposed to watch ironman with my gayfriend and his friends. the tickets was fully booked pulak. i pity him. i barely get to spend time with him since last week, with my pox n busyness. i’ll try to make it tomorrow maybe. :)

Saturday, May 01, 2010

Just a hunch

Its 8.20 pm and i’m waiting for hilmey to fetch me. i dont know why but i had a bad feeling tonight. i sure do hope that its my feelings only. anyway, i’ve told my friends my whereabouts in case something went wrong.