Friday, July 23, 2010

What if, you said it first?

What is the one thing that's keeping me sane these days? Well, you guys could've guessed the answer, I'm sure of that. Hilmey la of course. And it is no longer a secret that I kinda like him, right? That is why in the previous post I had mentioned walking away from him hurts, macam putus cinta. Haha. I did something funny, and stupid today. Ughh. Up until now, I still am in denial to what I did, really.

Here goes.

Next week, on 29th of July, is Hilmey's birthday. So, the kids planned on making him miserable this whole week, and we're gonna do a surprise birthday party for him on his birthday. My task, was simple. I just need to bother him everyday, telling him that I have a huge problem. That problem MUST give him a headache.

And, I have no idea what problem I'm suppose to create. Then, I thought of something. I thought, maybe if I confess that I have feelings for him, he'll have enough headache to last for a week! ( which is stupid, I know. because I ACTUALLY LIKED HIM.) but, I thought it was a good enough idea since next week he'll know that its not true, (although its true la.) and he'll never know the truth if it goes bad.

God, I NEVER in my whole entire life, say to a guy, that I actually like him. (meaning that, I say it first, not him, get it?) My face was terribly hot, and I feel like I'm coming down with fever when I actually confessed. And God knows how embarrassing it iwas! I literally feel like dying that instant! I risked my friendship with him, and everything we had, at that very moment. I was lucky that he reacted normally, and understood what I felt for him.


He actually didn't comment on my statement. Which kinda shows that he's not having the same feelings. I asked about the girl I assumed was his girl, but he just said that she's his best friend. Nahh, I dont think that it's the truth though. They were really close, I couldn't have guessed wrong. I was devastated, but glad at the same time. I get to let my feelings out, and next week he'll just think that its some funny prank I played on him.

There's finally an answer to what I keep wondering. Is there really gonna be a chance for us? Now I know for sure, there's none. Its one sided, and I know that I can move on without pondering on the possibilities, otherwise. ;)

Nice plan, huh?

So, saje nak dramatic, upload our pics together. Konon konon kecewa.
Okay, tipu. Memang kecewa. (-_-')

Anyway, I know that he'll always be a good friend of mine. No matter what changes after this, I won't regret ever expressing what I feel in the first place. Why lie to yourself kan?


At least I feel better now. hee.


.:: meanie ninie ::. said...

sayang, first of all, are u gure helmi tak baca blog ini? :D hee

well, just make sure die betul2 bukan org punye significant other..and if mmg takde, off to happyland with him la!

give him the biggy suprise saying that you actually like him, for real..!

p/s: but stilll, if die ttbe ade perasaan kat u, and ble die dpt tahu u main2 kan die through this surprise, how?

Nur Shakhina Ahmad said...

aunt, i dont think that he knows the address to this blog anyway.

and, he didnt feel the same way afterall, so lets not worry about that.

omg, i'm so heart broken. huu.

.:: meanie ninie ::. said...

gosh, i just read your post.. i'm sorry hun, sometimes you just meet the rebound before the one.. so, just wait for it. :) missing u