Friday, August 27, 2010

I'll do it all over again. Yeah, I will.

Yesterday, was what I can say, THE WORST DAY EVER. I was struggling very hard trying to get what I want, I can't even concentrate on what my lecturers are saying anymore.

Have you ever had something that you want so much, you're just simply not gonna let it go? Be it a new phone, new bag, dress, whatever. Just that one thing that you've been chasing for. Its right in front of you, but it seems that you can't grab it. Feels bad isn't it? Well, to be honest this particular thing had been on my mind for almost a year now. This thing had brought me into a very long, winded journey. I keep questioning myself, why can't I get it, after everything that I've done?

So I was all moody and sad and devastated yesterday. Mimi, Diana and I decided to catch a movie to cheer me up after berbuka. We went to college since there's an iftar there, (might as well save money on food and spend it on movie tickets, you see) and food is free! Okay, I was just expecting a quiet evening to clear my mind off things. But then guess who showed up there? Aizat again. I feel like literally having a breakdown yesterday. A few tears escaped my eyes, but Mimi cheered me up instantly.

I dont even know what got into me yesterday, maybe I was a little emotional. But I really think that it was a bad timing for him to show up. I didn't hate him or anything, I just wish that I won't be seeing him around, ever. He's a part of my life I'm still trying hard to forget. The least he could do is to stay away from me. I even prayed that he'll move to another country sometimes. Reality's not working that way, so it seems. I don't know about anything anymore. :(

And my birthday's coming soon. Looks like I'll be all alone for my birthday too, this year. Nevermind, maybe I should start listing down my birthday wishes to cheer me up. Will post it up later though.


.:: meanie ninie ::. said...

umm, i don't blame you for feeling the way you felt. sebab it is not easy to forget somebody that means a lot to you. but there is no reason to let that stop you from leaving your life, remember that. :)

Nur Shakhina Ahmad said...

yeahh. its kinda hard. it might've been a year since we broke up but i'm still coping and i'm feeling lost sometimes. as you say, life goes on though. i'm living the best as i can.