Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Watch me burn

And sometimes, I think I can't take it anymore.

Life's been giving me shit, and I've been holding on hoping it'll get better. They say there's a silver lining to every cloud. But where's mine? I've caught words that maybe mom and dad are getting a divorce. Hell, its been bothering me for days. I don't know how to react to that, so I've been putting up a front. In front of my sister, friends. I dare not cry. Because crying simply confirms the fact that they are splitting up after all, and never in a million years would I want that for them.

Things didn't get better with me dealing with stuff along the way. I have friends who listen. But how long will they be listening to me ranting over family stuff, my issues and all? I figured they are tired of it at some point. I am selfish. They have things to worry about too, right?

I can't talk to my family either, I'm suppose to be the strong one. I'm at a dead end, and I'm done talking. No matter how much I talk about it, no one understands. No one can help, I'm stuck with myself, thinking, hoping that everything will be better. Wishing for the bad things to be over. Yeah, God is testing me. But you see, I'm not good at handling it. I'm at breaking point now.

Really, I just can't take the shits anymore.

3 comments:

i'm not a vampire,unlike Stefan Salvatore but this is my story. said...

you still have me.
:'(

nadd. said...

shak, u always have me if u wanna talk abt things. i know how it felt to be the strong one in the family. dont burden urself abt the family, its not ur fault pun things jd cmtu. dont think abt it too much and get yourself busy. tau? take cre babe. love u.

Shakhina Ahmad said...

mimi: yeah, i know. but its hard for me to let it out sometimes. :(
nad: thank you,babe. i'll try okay? it's just a momentarily mental break down, i hope so. i love you too. ;)