Friday, June 21, 2013

Checklist

Since I'll be leaving at the end of next week, I was thinking of what I want to do or get for me to bring back home to Melaka. You know, for memories' sake and what not. I've come up with a couple of things on my checklist with le boyfie, and a few for my gals! 

It is of utmost importance that I get to do this before moving back, so I'm planning things in my head, for now. Its kinda tricky for the checklist with le boyfie coz he's gonna be away all week, so I might not get to see him that much. As for the gals, I think we can manage.

I'm a sucker for making memories and all, simply because I'm mellow, and sweet, and romantic? Hahaha and because I know that this is probably gonna be the year that I wanted to remember most. 

Ttys people. I have to get back to studying now. xx

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Closer

Hey peeps! I am writing now to let you know that I'm finally on to my last paper, which is on Tuesday. Goshh, everything went by so fast and before I know it, I am left with ten more days here in
Sunway before moving back home to Melaka.

Then, off to job-hunting and moving on with real life. I feel like its all coming too soon, but yeah, I'm dealing with this the best I know how. A step at a time.

More than that, I am gonna miss my gals a lot. I'm trying to spend as much time as possible with my loved ones here, coz it might be harder to see them in the future. Well, that's because I'm still undecided about working in Melaka or in KL. We'll see how things goes. 

 I miss this.
 :)
 One for the grandkids.
The birthday bash.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Ms Always Right

Yup. That's me. I have this strong need to be right. Like, EVERY SINGLE TIME. Its driving me crazy for one thing, but it must've driven people around me crazy too! Sorry guys. And thank you, for putting up with me all the time.

I know for a fact that I'm one selfish bitch, but it doesn't hit me that hard until just now. It seems like I always say things without thinking twice. And almost every time I'll say mean things and hurt the feelings of the people that I love. I'll regret it five mins later, only to be doing it all over again next time. Blerghh.

And then there's another problem. I OVER-THINK about everything, its killing me! Which is prolly why I love to sabotage my relationships. Its a disease I've contracted from unsuccessful relationships, and it just won't go away. So help me God, I have to stop doing that. I need to stop doing that. Its been causing me nothing but trouble lately. I hate it.

Thinking about it now, I'm pretty sure I'm such a terrible person to be with. I want what I want from a relationship selfishly and I couldn't be fair and commit to a relationship in return. I managed to perfectly neglect to think about the other party's feelings. Which sucks. Because once I realized what little thought I had on     his feelings, I feel horrible. And it hits me.

I AM REALLY MEAN AND HEARTLESS.

Gotta work on fixing that too. I have to start putting myself in other people's shoes and think about how they would feel first, before going on and saying things that i don't mean just to hurt them. Sighhh.

Baby, I'm so sorry you had to read all of the nasty things I wrote about you. I messed up, I know. But I'm working on getting better. Just hang on and bear with me, okay? Sorry again. 

xx


Familiarity

That familiar stab of pain in the heart. Its making a comeback. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

This is it


The exam period. Gonna be busy for a while. Will talk to you people soon. Pray for me, will ya? Goodnight people. xx

Saturday, June 08, 2013

Those three words




Is it really that difficult, baby? Sighhh. I need to hear it. I want to hear it. I need to know it. I want to know it. 

Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Fix me

Am I beyond saving? I'd like to think that I am not. But the turn of events lately have somehow proved otherwise.

It really is a wonder how an event from the past can affect and change a person totally.

I am a changed person. What they say is true afterall.

I need to fix me.

Saturday, June 01, 2013

Use somebody

I don't wanna get out of this bubble. Turned out I found a wonderful person afterall. And despite my endless attempts at pushing him away, he preservers. I like that. Really. I love the fact that he held on when I always was such a bitch to him. I'm still feeling sorry that he had to put up with my insecurities, my manic, depressed self and all. But hey, at least I know that he won't just take off whenever things get rough right? So that's good. :)

Above all else, he makes me happy. Its rare that when I date someone, I find myself feeling happy. I always felt the urgency of breaking away from relationships before this, simply because I believe it will never work out. Because I don't believe in the idea of relationships anymore. I'm not saying that my perception towards relationships has totally changed, but I find myself wanting this to work out for some odd reason. I find myself wanting to believe in the idea of relationships once again.



I don't know how I could've loved someone so much back then. The idea is totally new to me now. The only thing I remembered from back then was how broken I was, how much it hurts, how weak and helpless I felt. And things like that, it just stays with me. Yeah yeah. Its things like that that makes me the person that I am today.

What? Its good to be cautious and not fall for the wrong person right? Hehehe. Yup. I'll just take it as I've learned great lessons in life. That when you fall down, there'll always be family and friends to support you, hold your hands and help you back up. That life goes on, and things get better eventually.

At the end of the day, I'll just go with the flow and stop being paranoid of having feelings for someone because its pretty normal. I have to stop sabotaging my own relationship as well. Hehe.

We'll see how things go for me and my muffin from now on. :)

SWOT-VAC

Hello again, people!

I know I've been away a lot these days, but trust me it was all for the right reasons. No?

Well, its been crazy trying to fix the mess I made, and then it was crazy saying goodbye to Monash, and it was crazy trying to submit my assignments according to the deadline.

So the final week in Monash is over, now all that's left is the finals and I'll be done with my degree. This is crazy. Less than a month and this will all be over. Like seriously? Hurm.

Okay. I shall fly away and leave all of this.

Okay not. Its the SWOT-VAC period now, which means its the study week! I'll be busy studying, or watching movies, or both. Hehe. 

TTYS loves. 
xx