Wednesday, July 31, 2013

If it's not yours, it's not yours

So... Have I finally decided once and for all how's it gonna be? I think everything is pretty clear now. All I need to do is be firm about it this time. I have to keep reminding myself of what I want, of what makes me happy, and forget about the things that don't matter.

I gotta find what's mine, stop holding on to things that are not real, and get my head straight. No more patching things up this time. Because you know what? I can't fix incompatibility. If it's not mine, then it's not mine. Nothing can change that.

I need to put an end to this today.

Lend me determination and strength to do this, people. I should've done this three months ago, before everything started. That way I could've saved myself from disappointments and heart breaks.

Not too late now.
xx

Friday, July 26, 2013

Today

I'm about to be either very pleased, or very pissed. I hope it's not the latter though. I really can't take any more drama this week.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Monday, July 22, 2013

Soon


Hello, lovelies! Good news.

I'll be back in Sunway for a few days from Friday onwards. Mom wants to spend some time at granny's, and while doing that, I could extend my stay to meet my gals! Gosh, I miss them so much. Can't wait to catch up and gossip. :)

And have you guys heard? The haze is back! Its pretty hazy in Melaka now, I don't like it. Stay indoors more, people. Its suffocating out there.  

Will talk soon. I'm in the midst of watching a mellow drama. Gotta get my emo side ready for this. Hehehehe.

p/s: I spot a cute selfie on insta today. Cute.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Therapy

Ever feel like you need to talk to someone but just couldn't find the right person to talk to? That is exactly what I'm feeling now. I mean, how do I talk to someone and admit that I hate myself sometimes? Okay, more like most of the time now. I have this huge ego and stupid self-righteousness which makes me feel superior to others all the time! This attitude will be the death of me. I wonder where have my humble, proper self gone to and its driving me crazy!

I wanna go back to the time when I have my priorities right, and when I see my life going in the right direction. I hate my cocky, ignorant, foolish self right now and I want to change that if I could. I just don't know how. I always forget to remind myself to listen to the wisdom of others, because I always feel the compulsive need to be right. Because I love winning. And I always forget that in winning, I may not always be right. 

My ultimate favorite: blaming the others for everything before pointing the finger at me. It's a really bad habit, and it doesn't help in terms of stuffs relating to my future. I can't be blaming the university for crappy GPA now, can I? That is just complete and utter bullshit, now that I think about it. Monash is Monash, but that doesn't explain me being stupid and not scoring the exams, right? Because apparently, some people managed to score and get good grades, so it's not totally impossible. It's just hard, that's all. 

I really need a guidance counselor or something. I need a self-upgrade if I can. I don't wanna get stuck where I don't belong, five years from now. It sure is scary, leaving uni. It's all fun and sunshine and rainbows until the "what's next?" question hits you. And it's hitting me hard now. 

Enough rants for tonight I guess. 

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Because I love pretty things

And that abs is just pretty! Pardon me for being forward, but I couldn't stop staring at that picture of you and your abs. Dude, staring at your abs is just pure torture. I miss that abs!

This is why they say, you never really know what you have until it's gone.

In this case, that chocolate abs. Sobs. Really, Chak? Of all things? Lol.

Now I'm hoping for more shirtless pictures. Hahahaha, I'm kidding. Okay, not. :)

I'm just saying. Flaunt it!

Okay, I should probably stop now.  This is not healthy. I wasn't expecting this at all.

But hey, life is full of surprises, right? 

Goodnight loves.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Roll monster!

Well hello, people! Guess what? I finally get to go for terawih tonight! And today was also the first day I fasted, since Ramadan started. Yeah, yeah, blame it on the menses and all. But I am excited for the rest of the fasting days, and of course, raya!!

This year, the Ahmads will be celebrating raya in Melaka. Weehoo! I'm thinking of which kuih raya to make for raya already. Hehehe. Oh my God I just love the fact that I don't have another semester to look forward to!

Life is good now. I want to be in my bubble of lazy-bumness for as long as I could. So.... high five on doing nothing? Yeay!

Oh, on other news, I'm almost done watching Pretty Little Liars until the current episode, I need new series to watch. Any recommendations?

Meanwhile, just excuse me and my selfies. Too much time on my hand these days.

Presenting.... The Roll Monster!

Muka mintak pelempang. Blerghh. Who cares... I'm THAT bored.

Will talk soon. xx

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Have you ever

Have you ever just look back at old conversations and wonder how you went from being so happy with each other to being just miserable? I looked back at those conversations and miss how things were between us. Now..... Now..... I'm just not so sure anymore.

I want to make things work, I really do. I keep telling myself that things will get better, eventually. That you and I will get through this. That we will fight things out, smooth things over and everything will be okay.

But there's only so many fights we can take, so many harsh words we can throw at each other until it becomes apparent that this is not it.

The three days are almost up. And I still can't decide whether you'll be worth the fight.

I need you to try and change my mind. Because right now, it seems like I'm set on saying goodbye.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Popping that bottle


Guys, I AM GRADUATINGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahahahaha, I was jumping up and down when I viewed my results just now. I was too happy that I ended up laughing and crying at the same time!

Alhamdulillah, thank God that all my efforts for those three years are bearing fruit. Thank God that I'm graduating on time. I'm just over the moon with happiness now.

Did I mention how happy I am now?? Happy happy happy!

So let's not think about the mess my relationship is in, and other things. I'm dedicating today to being happy that I'm finally graduating. :)

Gosh, I feel like hugging everyone now.
Hugs, people. Okay, hug me back tighter? Hehehe

xx

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Anxiety overload

Why? Because it looks like the release of results is gonna be delayed. I don't know for how long, but it is effing delayed. T_T I just wanna curl up into a ball and sleep until the results is here. I am so nervous my heart is pounding every time a text arrives.

I can't take this anymore! The results needs to be delivered to me soon. My head is about to explode, thinking about the worst.

This is it

Today is the day that results of the final exam's gonna be out! I was so restless last night, but I slept like a baby anyway. Hehehe. Not to worry, I woke up panicking coz I registered for the sms results which means that it could be delivered to me any minute now!!

Guys, I really really really wanna graduate. I think I've talked about this for as long as I can remember. I'm kinda scared to look at the results because I know I did terrible for my MBB paper. I just can't bear the thought of extending another semester, or another year even!

So, pray for me?

I'm so nervous that I'm pulling my hair out as I'm typing this.

Will let you guys know here once the results is out, yeah? I'm kinda taking a break from twitter and all for a few days.

TTFN.

Friday, July 12, 2013

The third day of Ramadan

Hello again, people! I've been missing again these days, for far too long, I know. But hey, being home always does that to me. I wouldn't know what to write about anyways, its been a whirlwind of trying to settle down, unpacking, taking care of stuffs these two weeks. And also yeah, the fasting month is here!

More than that, I'm excited about finally getting to spend fasting month in Melaka with my family. I'm looking forward to one month of Raya, doing nothing! I know I'm supposed to be job-hunting and all, but I just love how things are right now. I love the unemployed me. But it seems like the unemployed me is driving my muffin crazy! Well, he's gotta live with that for now. I'm enjoying myself too much to care. :)

So, pictures from after the exams?

 The Trick Art Museum, I City.

Lunch after the final paper, courtesy of Katniss. ;)

Merah, Biana and Katniss.

The usual three, Mimo, Shasho and Lilo.






 All seven in one frame!

The last dinner, and jalan2 session.






Well, all the pictures are up on facebook, as always. Only selected ones are here. I'll ttys, people.

xx

Monday, July 01, 2013

Say hello to goodbye

The final night is finally here. I'm leaving this place tomorrow morning, and it still feels surreal. Four years of my life spent here packed away in boxes to be taken home. My heart sinks every time I think about leaving, but I don't wanna say goodbye just yet. Things will not be the same after this, I know that, and I'm dealing with it the best way I know. By writing about it. Memories are preserved in pictures, and words, words just put the feelings into it. Four years transitioning from a school kid, to an adult, falling in love and out of love, watching friendship bloomed and blossomed, I must say, the most beautiful four years of my life.

And so, I'm thanking God for all the wonderful people I have in my life right now. I wouldn't trade them for the world, they mean that much to me. Thank you for the most memorable four years of my life. I love you guys! 

I have tons of pictures to upload, soon hopefully. Gotta go sleep now though, moving stuffs tomorrow morning. 

xx