Friday, August 30, 2013

The end of August

So, 1st of September is fast approaching. With that, my birthday too! Which is in another 14 days to be precise. :)

You know how excited I am every time when it's near my birthday right? I'm gonna be 22 soon! Wow, it feels surreal. I think I have blog posts from when I was 17 in this blog. My writing changes, my relationship changes, my interests change, and I've changed too.

Sometimes I feel like I've matured a lot, sometimes I feel like I'm still a kid, who's aging.

Yeah, aging. That is becoming a problem more and more now.

You guys should get me anti-aging cosmetics for my birthday. Pretty please? I'm feeling very wrinkly and saggy now. Saggy? luls.

Talk soon loves.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

La la la



"I can't find those silver linings
I don't mean to judge
But when you read your speech, it's tiring
Enough is enough

I'm covering my ears like a kid
When your words mean nothing, I go la la la
I'm turning off the volume when you speak
Cause if my heart can't stop it, I find a way to block it
I go la la la la la la "

What I love listening to these days. :) Don't you guys find this song cute as well?? Like you know, "lalala I don't wanna listen to your speech anymore, take that."

Updates?

None.

I am still happily unemployed. I don't wanna get out of unemployment, I just love it that much at the moment. Bahaha.

I know, I know, I should go job hunting and all, but give me some time. It just feels nice doing nothing now. Unemployment is just too awesome. Hehehe

Saturday, August 24, 2013

We found love


New boyfriend. :) What I love most about him? His extremely long legs. 

xx loves. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Awake

I am thinking of ways to not get dragged down by this. As of now, I'm still awake at 4 am, which is not good at all. My ego can't take the fact that I'm the only one affected by the break up, while he's perfectly fine. Okay, putting aside my ego, for him to not care about me at all is just....sad, and depressing. It just goes to show that what I thought of him was right all along. He didn't think I was worth the effort.

Douche. 

Roll in the next boyfriend please? 

Okay, not. I have too much on my plate right now, I don't need any more complications, namely.....boys.

Gotta change my sleeping patterns. It's unhealthy, especially when I'm supposed to be job-hunting and getting my life together. 

Talk soon, loves. 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Part of the list



Can we just jump to the time where I don't miss you like crazy anymore? Can we just go to the part where I go on living my days with no thought of you in mind whatsoever?

Well, this sucks. I know that it takes time and all, but I don't like the "right now" part. Right now, I just miss him.

I keep on wishing the people I'm texting or talking to is him. Yeah, yeah, I miss him that bad. Stupid heart is not listening to my logic. Blerghh.

So, baby steps huh? Patience huh?

This will past. Oh this will past. And I, well, I'll recover.

Till then, you people will have to bear with my sappy whiny self. :) Hehehe

What can I do? Breakups are hard.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Full-on raya

Hello people! I've been busy these days with raya and stuffs, sorry for the late update. Besides, since I am unemployed, I have nothing much to talk about. Well, aside from how my raya was, and about me coping with me being single again. :)

So, news?

We had a small raya open house on the third day of raya, which was awesome coz a lot of my friends came. It made me so happy! It feels like this is the last raya as a student and all, so I'm crazily making plans on seeing friends as much as I can. At least the ones that still wanna meet me.

Then, on fourth day of raya, I went beraya to a few of my primary school friends' house. It was a good day, coz I haven't seen most of them in ages! Who would've thought how much we all had changed over the years. I reminisced a lot on my memories from my childhood that day. Good times, the annoying times, well just about everything.

Fifth day of raya, the Ahmads went to granny's! So, now I'm in PJ area until Friday maybe. Which was why I had been bugging my friends here to meet up for raya and stuffs. Sorry Adam for bugging you to come beraya and thank you for having us! Haha. I'm planning on visiting Adeeb as well while I'm here. Who else? It seems like everyone's busy these days, so I'm just gonna call up a few friends and see if they wanna hang.

Meanwhile, I have a raya celebration event in Monash to attend later in the evening. Can't wait to see my girls! :)

Talk soon, lovelies.
xx

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Raya with the Ahmads

So, guess which color won this year??

Magenta! :)

 I love how good the boys look in pink! :) Thanks nak sedondon dengan kakak this year. Who needs a boyfriend, when you can have two boyfriends right? Sayang banyak banyak banyak awak dua ini.

How's raya for you guys? This year my raya is filled with fun, happy moments spent with family dearest! It feels so good to be home for the whole duration of Ramadan, and to prep for raya with my family for the first time after six years. My lil babies are all grown up now, they helped out a lot when it comes to work that requires strength. Most of all, they helped put a smile on my face. :)

Today, after spending half of the day at home, we went to visit dad's friends. And of course, we managed to collect duit raya! Not much, but still.... This will be the last year that I'll be getting duit raya. So....it matters. A lot. Hehehe.

It was a very tiring day, and I think I'm gonna crash as soon as I finish uploading this post. But first...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI! MAAF SALAH SILAP, TERKASAR BAHASA, ANDDDD HALALKAN MAKAN MINUM. :)

The family potrait. 

Love,
Chak

Sunday, August 04, 2013

At the end of the day

Even after a long day of busying myself with baking and prepping the house for raya, at the back of my mind I still think of you. And I wondered how things were to be if we're still together. Then I stopped wondering altogether. Not a word from you since that night, and that's enough reason to wake me up from daydreaming of things that will never happen.

Fact is, you still don't care.

Fact is, I am still in love with you.

Fact is, we can't go back.

So that leaves me dealing with this break up and facing it right in the face. It's hard, simply because I miss you so much, but it's okay. Missing you is only human. Being weak is okay sometimes. Things don't magically happen overnight, it takes time. And time is all I have on my hands right now.

I'm sad, but I have people that makes me happy. I'm thankful for that.

I never thought I'd have to take my own advice in handling break ups. Glad I wrote things down, though. :)

Click for previous post on how to cure a broken heart

One day at a time baby. One day at a time.

Saturday, August 03, 2013

You've left me speechless



"You threw your hands up
Baby, you gave up, you gave up"

Look who's back

Hello people! I'm finally back in Melaka for Raya! It's the perfect time to get my mind off things, since I'll be busy making cookies and cleaning and shopping for raya stuffs for the kids. I'm gonna make them wear pink this year. Hehe, or royal blue.

Why?

Because I always get what I want.  Not true, but still.... Humor me.

So, who's excited for Raya?

ME :)

Thursday, August 01, 2013

When it's all said and done

The thing that hurts me the most is the realization of how little I mean to you. How you didn't fight to make me stay. How you just left and make me wonder was I the only one delusional and in love with you.

Five minutes later, I realized I made the right call. Walking away was the right decision. If I'm not even worth the fight, then why stay?

Break ups are hard. But things will get better eventually.

So, I'm putting on that big smile, spending time with people that loves me unconditionally and I'll put this behind. Raya is nearing, it's not the time to be all sad and mellow.

People love, people fall out of love. There are happy times, and times where you'll be bawling your eyes out. That is just how life is. Not always perfect.

At least we're living, yeah?