Sunday, February 16, 2014

Powerless


I'm eating chocolates in bed now. Oh such depressing mornings, these days. Yeah, I feel so powerless. I can't do anything about it coz I'm busy with work and stuffs.

Which is why I'm planning to un-depress myself tomorrow. I'm gonna go out for movies and dinner, I dont care by myself or if I have to drag my friends by their collar, so be it. I gotta go out!

I have to be in control again. Hehehe. Estimated recovery time: two days.

Okay, gotta stop eating chocolates and mope around coz my cheeks might just get bigger! And so does my spare tire. Let's make today a brighter day, shall we? :)

Saturday, February 15, 2014

Post Vday

So I woke up this morning, alone in bed. That pretty much sums up the story of how my Valentine's was. I had a very horrible day yesterday. Even from the day before, then it continued on to the end of yesterday. With a lot of stuffs happening on board yesterday's flight, the trouble I'm about to face because of that, everything just wasn't going right for me. Initially I wanted to at least go out and have dinner with my friends if I finished work early and so on, but.... I got home pretty late, lose all my will to get mad, I was just too tired, so I went to bed instead.

It was only this morning that I realized I need to really rely and depend on someone sometimes. I was having a really hard time yesterday, so I wanted to vent and have someone tell me that everything's okay. But when I looked and looked, I discovered that I don't have the right candidate for just that. Most of the time, I always end up pushing the people who cares about me away. Then finally, I am left with just me to deal with my own mess.

Ughh, it always frustrates me when I need a hug, no one is there to give me one. Not even my cuddle buddy. Hahaha, I'm big on hugs, so?

Which further got me to conclude that I need a new cuddle buddy, one that is more safe and committed. Maybe it's time for a new boyfriend? Sighhh. If only I have enough will power to put enough effort in dating, but I know I'm just way too lazy to be dealing with complicated stuffs now.

That leaves me with the option of? Okay I still have no solution for this. Shall deliberate on this more.

Talk soon, loves. Gotta go get ready for work.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Find your root

These days I tend to find myself doing things I don't normally do, saying things I don't normally say, in short, changing. I hate changes. I hate changing into a different kinda person. I hate not being the same me. It's scary, but inevitable at the same time. Embracing it though, is gonna take time. 

Everytime I feel myself change, I go back to my roots. And my root is, my family. They make me feel safe, and at ease. I'll always rethink about my life decisions, bad choices and mistakes. Maybe that's why I am the way that I am, and I can't be thankful enough for that. :)

So.....

Less dumb-mistakes after this, yeah? 

Coz I'm an aunt now. ;)

Tuesday, February 04, 2014

Oh look, it's February!

Well well, as usual a very depressing month for me. I think I've never been in a relationship with anyone in February. Mainly because my relationships were short-lived, and I for one have this fear of commitment, yeah, same old, same old.

But still, it's the month of love, no? 

So I intend on fully embracing it. Love or lust, I often get confused between those two. I vote for having one at least, to keep my sanity in check and survive this month. ;)

What will it be then?

Oh ho, am not gonna tell. 
Talk soon, babies! xx