Wednesday, October 29, 2014

That familiar stab in the heart

It's making a comeback. Only worse this time. :(

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

The way you make me feel

It's rare to find someone who let's me feel like I'm important to him. I'm glad he does, all the time. From the way he treats me, the way he speaks to me and just about everything. More than him saying how important I am, I love how he can make me feel it instead.

I'm kinda glad it never worked out with anyone in the past.

I'm kinda glad I have you in my life now.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Why I hate LDR

Not to exaggerate or anything, but I am in several LDRs right now. LDR with my family, my closest friends and also with my boyfriend. I personally feel like a person can only endure like two LDRs at any given time. Like, if she's having LDR with her boyfriend, she can either live at home and be surrounded by her family OR live in the city surrounded by close friends. Like, if she's not staying at home with family, and her friends are not by her side, she should at least be in the same city as her boyfriend.

Makes a lot of sense, no?

A person can't live on their own. Okay, scratch that. I can't live on my own. I don't know how I survived these few months without family, friends or my boyfriend around. But it really is a tiring cycle. I don't have that feeling of 'coming home' everytime I come back from work. I only have that feeling every time my week ends when I get to go back to Melaka, or if I'm going to Penang, or if he's coming to town or when my friends are in town.

I need stability. I need to be cared for when I'm sick.

And I'm kinda sick now. Down with flu, but have to care for myself. I'm too young for this shit.

On my weakest days, all I think about is how nice it'd be for me to move back and stay with my family. Like, who cares if I'm making money doing things I love anyway?

Is this how it's supposed to be, growing up? It's so lonely and depressing. I mean, who do I go to after such a long day for a hug? I need to be able to lean on people sometimes. :(

Maybe I'm just sick and needy, that's why I'm like this. But it's true, no? No one can live alone.

Friday, October 10, 2014

As the days draw near

I went to view a couple of rooms with him the other day in Cyberjaya. I guess I was hoping for at least one decent, clean room that I can move into ASAP, so that this nightmare of me being room-less will be over. Turns out that I was hoping for too much.

The rooms are not fit for a human to live in.

And I thought only my housemates can be dirty.

How is it that my room in Nilai is so much cleaner and nicer than the rooms I viewed in Cyber??

I'm gripping at last few strands of hope here. I'm supposed to be out of this place by 1st November, so it is understandable that I am panicking, right? There are a couple more rooms in Cyber that is left for viewing, and a couple of rooms in Putra Heights. I really hope that the one in Putra Heights is liveable. I kinda love the fact that it's close to Sunway.

Anyways, remember how I was telling you guys that I need nicer hair? I went to the salon the other day, spent a fortune, cut my hair shorter and did the relaxer treatment.

The result? 

Chubbier face, of course.

And, I still don't like my hair. I mean, I spent quite a large amount of money on it, and it doesn't look pretty still. At this point in time, I regretted not getting a new watch or handbag. (-,-)

Okay, I need to go get some sleep now. Have to go earn money tomorrow~


Monday, October 06, 2014

Of needs and wants

At the moment, second on my list after settling down in a new place, will be getting a nicer hair. I've been going on for years with the same stubborn hair that doesn't seem to want to look nice no matter how hard I tried.

Sad that my job scope involves having nice hair.

My hair is so damaged that sometimes I think the best I can do to save it will be to chop it all off. But, I want longer hair. I crave for all the sexiness it brings. So I'm finding ways to salvage whatever I have and make do with it.

No more shortcuts. No more chopping it all off.

Long days at the salon it is then.

Sunday, October 05, 2014

Life as we know it

So October is here already! It's close to a year since I started flying. Pretty amazing right? One year passes by so fast, and before you know it, another year is fast approaching. I know I've talked for months about moving out from Nilai, but I'm still here, in the same boring room in a house I cannot call home.

It's kinda depressing these days coming back from work, and being restricted from having a nice healthy routine coz I haven't found a place to stay. I turn on my laptop, dive into endless room ads and contact the house owners. I do that every day, but then I'm lacking in terms of time for me to go visit the house. I cant go view the room on my off days coz people are working on my off days.

That's why it took so long. And did I mention how expensive it is to rent a room these days? I'm so broke I can't even get one nice thing for myself for my birthday. I want a new watch, but I cant get a watch. I want a new handbag but I cant get a new handbag. Why? Coz I have to worry about my room deposit every single time. And coz my money seems to evaporate into thin air every month? >.<

I wish I can run away and just come back and I'll have a place to stay. Then everything will be better.

Adulthood doesn't work that way, sadly. No matter how far I run, my troubles and worries will always be there to haunt me.

Take me back to the days where I have a place I could call home?

Pretty please?