Friday, April 10, 2015

I wish

I wish I didnt care so much about petty little things. I wish so hard that I am cool with every single thing. But I am not. It is just not in me. 

Why is it when I care so much about someone, I become so obsessed? It's unhealthy. I hate this feeling of wanting more. I hate that the thing I'm most talented in is, is destroying the things that I have.

Hurting the ones that I love. 

I say it time and time again. With every failed relationship I ask God again, "Is there something wrong with me? Why do I always like to put a dent on my own happiness, almost like an addiction?" 

I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy after all these years. 

So why am I sitting here, crying alone at night? 

I have regrets. I push people away. Even the one who I thought will persevere after all the ugliness shows. 

I will fix this. I will sleep it off and fix this. I've come so far to finally be happy, and I'm not gonna let my foolishness get in the way. Nor my ego. 

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