Tuesday, December 27, 2016

It's time to look back

Hello my lovelies! It seems that I have yet again managed to desert this blog for months. Oh what can I say, I've been mostly spending my time on off days wasting time on dramas and stuff. Not good, not good. Korean dramas always bring out the worst of my potato couching habit. Anyways, since I've got a bit of time on my hands now, I've decided to just remove the spiderwebs from this blog and blog a little.

I have a tiny bit idea of what to write on, since this is where I always rant. Let me then, begin by ranting. Looking at the calendar today, it's already two more days before Christmas! And soon New Year will roll in, and I, will become a year older. I've been struck by how fast the year went by as I sat down again, trying to write my new year's resolution. I thought to myself, "Really? It's time for another list?". Yup. It is time..

And like I've done so many years before, it's also time to look back at what 2016 was like for me. I find myself thinking that it was quite a lonely year in Dubai after I started flying. My batchmates and I dont hang out anymore, so I've been stuck at home most of the time. Looking at photos and all, I think that it's great that I've gone to so many places this year, crossed off items from my goals as well. I can only say that it feels amazing to be able to do that. I feel like my life is coming together in a way. I had a hard time this year trying to decide my path in life, on whether I should stay here for long or work my way up and get what I can get and leave. Either way, I feel like money is a big factor to stay, so I'm gonna stay here for a bit. :)

Looking back at how I was as a person, I feel like quite a bit has changed. The kind, always smiling me is replaced to a harsher, mean me. And I hate it. As much as I pride myself in being a nice person in general, it embarrasses me to admit that I've become harsh. I had promised myself not to get affected by how much negativity there is here in the crew population, yet I find myself just spiralling down that way. It's not too late to turn it around, I know that. The effort that it will take though, is not something I'll be looking forward to.

I also did not expect to be relying on someone so much this year, when I thought those days were over. As a result, I revert back to being in my little bubble of happiness where in the end I let my mood and actions be affected so much by a person. I wanted to escape that so bad when I came to Dubai. This I know I'll have to work on starting now and going into 2017. It affected me so much on my relationship with people, and I resented myself for being so moody. So, hopefully, no more of that after this.

Resolutions wise, I will say proudly that I managed to fulfil almost all of my goals last year. Which is always good, and this year I'm gonna try to set some goals and work towards it too.

And with that let the curtain drop for 2016 and welcome 2017 with open hands!

Picture from the day I spent playing with the penguins in SkiDubai. :)

Till next time, loves! 
xx

Monday, June 20, 2016

London bridge is falling down

KSo... Finally, after 9 months of flying, I was rostered for London! I've always wanted to go at least once, and to finally be there was just amazinggg. To top it off, I got to go with nice people, therefore all is good for me.

Group photo at the tower bridge.
It was raining, but we don't mind it at all. We came prepared! Typical asians. 😂
Big Ben and I. 💕💕💕

As I'm writing this post, I'm actually in my hotel room in Colombo. Too tired to move, but kinda early to go to bed still. Hence the long overdue blogpost. 

Okay, on to the journey in Colombo!
We went for an elephant ride! Short ride, I must say.. 15 mins or so. Pricey, and nothing like what I had in mind. It's not an elephant orphanage I think, poor elephant's chained. 😭

Oh well, at least I tried something new this time around. So next time I'm here, i'll go someplace new. There's always something to see.

Till then, me lovelies. Can't wait to fly back to Dubai, I miss my room already. 

xx

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Crossing things off the list

So this year, I've come up with a list. Goals, sort of. What better way to finish off the first third of the year if not by crossing one from the list?

I'm officially an open water diver! I was so excited about going diving after doing my Lasik last year, and to finally be able to just do it is just amazing. I take for granted my perfect eyesight sometimes, but to be able to relish in the feeling of doing something I never thought of, makes me feel thankful. So thankful that I have my eyesight back, so thankful that I get to enjoy the little things in life. Oh well, like you know waking up without fumbling for my glasses first thing in the morning.

Yeah, thank God. No more of that. :)

My diving trip was more of an impromptu trip, and I was so happy that my girls managed to be there with me! I couldn't have asked for more. All worked out well, I met new people, my instructor was awesome, and not to mention I had so much fun. I never thought I would return to Perhentian one day, and I did. I fell in love with the island when I visited three years ago, and returning back to the island just made me fall in love with it even more.

Pictures don't do justice, but here goes. ^^

Look at the color of the water! Best part of being in the island...

First couple of days with this girl. :)

 The remaining three days with these ladies. Amazing amazing pizza btw! Or we were just hungry?

 Nice new diving buddy. :)

 Finally, my sexy instructor. ;) ;) ;)

I am so glad I made the time, and effort and used up some money for this. The best experience so far! I look forward to my first diving trip after this! 

Footnote: Thought I'd get it all in writing before I totally forget about it. This was all from last month by the way.

Next thing for the second half of the year: Maldives, if all is well.

xx

Wednesday, April 06, 2016

Missing em cherry blossoms

So, the first quarter of 2016 had come and passed. Nine more days before I fly back home! I can't say I'm all excited to go back this time around, but yeah, I'm going back.

What I'm looking forward to is some vacation time! I've been busy with work and getting sick every now and then that I can't wait to go back and spend some time with family and friends just relaxing.

Maybe the part I look forward most is just having company. I'm sure I won't be feeling so down all the time in the company of family and friends. I mean, it's good that I have a routine here, but sometimes, I'd like to have people to meet and go out with.

I resent the fact that I'm talking only to one person day and night. I resent the fact that he's moving to Dubai, knowing full well that I'm just gonna hang with him all the time. I need a new circle of friends in Dubai, but it seems like this city is too cool for me.

I wish this too will pass, and I'd be able to adapt. Somehow these days I feel like I've closeted myself. I don't express myself as freely anymore. I keep getting overshadowed, listening to how someone's life is like, how it's moving forward, so much to the point that it became a part of my life.

And I don't want that for myself. Being the background in someone else's story. I hate it.

The more I hate it, the more I grow bitter with time. This is my story, This is my life. Why am I always sidetracked with what's happening with your life?

I can't get mad enough at myself for being content with where I am now. This isn't how the story ends, life isn't supposed to take you to your path, but you need to know where to go.

I hate feeling insufficient. Feeling like I'm up to no good. But that's how I feel these days.

Insufficient.

Monday, March 14, 2016

Let's talk about meaning

As we grow older, a lot of things change. Our looks, that's a definite, we ourselves evolve on the interior. We become different people. We learn, and we most definitely improve over time. 

With people, some of them mean less to you now than they used to. Some mean more to you now than ever. It's just how time works, making me wonder. 

And of course, the inevitable. How much do you mean now, to people around you? Is it the same? Or you mean less and less to them now that they have too much on their plate? To judge this is not a healthy thing to do, but to remember to nurture great relationships might be an effort worth doing. 

As for me, the same thing applies. One day, I might not mean as much to this man as I used to. Whatever I say won't weigh so much on him as it does now. But I hope that we both will remember how good we treat each other, how we respect each other, enough to be kind to one another even when we don't matter much to each other anymore.

xx

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

The tenth year

Hi lovely people!

I was so bored today from bedrest, as I'm down with fever and what not, so I decided to check up on my spiderweb-ridden blog. You know what I discovered?? One very interesting fact. This year marks the tenth year of me being on blogger!

Such an achievement, I know. Me being committed to one thing for 10 years is just...so not me. I looked back to my old posts, how I've grown with time, and even with my writing. I feel so old now. Hahaha.

But really, nothing else gives me the satisfaction than keeping my thoughts and feelings of moments in my life in writing. I get to see how I was so innocent at one point of my life, how I could be in love with someone and no longer in love the next few months. It's funny seeing how everything changes with time. Your friends, loved ones, people close to you, it all changes with time.

What's constant in my life, and always will be is, my family. Only difference is, it grows! I haven't showed you guys my second niece, right?

Meet Nur Zarith Sofia, the latest addition to my family. Isn't she lovely?

My point is, I'd like to continue writing for years to come! My very own online diary of some sort. So that one day I could look back and remember those moments in my life, where some things seem to matter more than the other. So that one day I could remember to never stop dreaming, or never stop having fun, for that matter! 

Well, life is a journey anyway. And my only plan is to document it. :)

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Deserving

Stop being so unhappy, and go on being awesome! You totally deserve it.

Stop letting yourself get treated any less than you deserve. You set the standard, someone else shall follow through with it.

If they can't, then too bad. Maybe they're just not worth it. :)

Monday, January 25, 2016

Surviving the minus

So I was really excited for Beijing this month as it has been my dream to visit all the seven wonders of the world. Beijing, has the Great Wall. I was even more happy when the operations did not remove my Beijing flight in the end, and I thought to myself, I'm finally going to the Great Wall!

And..... No I didn't.

When I first saw that the temperature in Beijing is -6 degrees, I hesitated. I made up my mind when we landed, as the temperature went down to -15 degrees. On the great wall the next day it reaches down to almost -20 degrees!

I ended up making an attempt to go to the Forbidden City instead. I say attempt, because I ended up running back to the train station and going back to the hotel. It was way too cold that I thought I was gonna die! Hahahaha, I'm a person who can't handle the cold really well to begin with, but when I'm put at a location with a -16 degrees, windy, on top of all that, my frail mind could not take it, and I ended up crying like a child.

I now understand why people wear uggs even though it looks ugly. I now understand the whole ten layers of thermal clothing and beanies and hoodies,and cover your face except the eyes kinda style.

Coz I thought I was dressed warm enough. Apparently not.

  I wanted to be comfortable, so I ditched my boots. Biggest mistake ever. My feet were frozen!

This photo is the only one I managed to take before running back to the train station. Hahahaha.

In the end, I survived the minus! Sort of. Oh well..

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Thoughts to cultivate

For starters, to compare this year and the previous one, a lot has changed. I was very much in love last year, surrounded by family and friends, but here I am in Dubai now. Single, independent, and ready to take on the world.

Downside of being a cabin crew however, is being surrounded by people with so much negativity sometimes. Me being weak at times will get caught in the web of negativeness, to the point of it being annoying.

So after coming back from Singapore, having my gym card fixed, I've been spending time at the gym more. Which helps a lot! Especially in getting rid of useless thoughts, and to release stress. Now all I have to do is cultivate more positive thoughts and be productive/proactive.

It's time for me to work on getting the things I want, and be a happier person in the process. Afterall, this lady right here is turning 25 this year!

Monday, January 11, 2016

Close enough

I'll be flying to Singapore in about 24 hours! Since they cancelled my KL flight the other day, this will again be the closest for me to home. Not bad at all. I can at least get some things done, buy a few essentials, and maybe go and meet up with my friend? I hope the contact number still works though.

Finally something to look forward to, after a couple of weeks being so home sick. -,-'

On a completely unrelated matter, I wanna go and hunt for more bow rings! Can't get enough of them. I probably have less interest in designer handbags and clothing compared to jewelry. So mak datin of me.

Well, whatever makes me happy.

On another side note, any book fair in Singapore now? I'm running out of things to read. The collection of books I have at the moment is so dry it puts me to sleep all the time.

Leaving for work soon me loves, talk soon!
xx

Saturday, January 09, 2016

The thing about being away

I guess this is why people say you dont really know what you have till it's gone? In my case, I didn't know I would miss Malaysia so bad, until I started living in Dubai. Even though I've been to quite a few places, nothing beats my home country. Here's why.

1. Our food
You gotta agree with me on this one. Malaysian food IS THE BEST! There's no arguing there. I lost a couple of kilos here, from just eating normal food like pasta everyday. I miss my rice! Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, Nasi Campur, Nasi Ayam, teh tarik, milo ais, you name it. Though it's rich in fat and cholesterol and sugar and what not, it's still the best. It feels so wholesome. I don't know how Europeans and all survive on just salads everyday. T_T
I. JUST. CANT.

2. How cheap everything is
When I was living back home, I used to complain how everything is so expensive. The transportation. Taxi is expensive, petrol is expensive, toll is expensive. Food is expensive. Fruits, having a nice meal in a cafe, all too expensive.
I take that all back now. Whatever we have back home, you can double that in Dubai. I now realize how cheap it is to live back home.

3. Post services
Sorry to break it out to you online shopaholics out there, the privilege of having things delivered to your doorsteps doesn't exist here in Dubai. Reason being, everything that is delivered here will have to be collected from the post office. An admin fee might apply to you when you go to collect your parcel. It is a bit of a hassle to go to the post office because of transportation issues, etc, and let's face it. Why should I pay for things that are getting delivered to me, when the sender already paid delivery charges? :(

It's suffice to say that I have it easy back home, which is probably why I'm missing home so bad now. I only listed three things that I find difficult to deal with, if not this will be one long whiny negative story about my current home. Because this place is not bad at all, and I love it. It's just that on some days, I really really miss my own country, that's all. A day like today.

On the bright side, I am counting down days where I'm gonna finally reunite with my family and friends. February, can't wait for you to arrive!

Stay safe and happy, beautiful people!
xx

Saturday, January 02, 2016

That welcome to 2016 post

Well, that post is finally here! How's everyone's New Year this year? I can't believe it's 2016, it feels like only yesterday I was at home in Putra Heights hanging around in my room thinking of New Year plans. Time, oh time, it really moves so fast. Still feels surreal to call Dubai my home now. And, still feels amazing to be hopping on and off planes between cool destinations. :)

Who would've thought, at this time around last year, I will be in Rome?

I hope 2016 brings more adventures, happiness, and meaning to life. As usual, I pray I'll never stop learning new things in life and challenge myself to be a better person. More importantly, I pray that I have another year being blessed enough to be a good child to my parents. May Allah grant them good health and prosperity this year. For the rest of us as well! Aminnn

xx
Happy New Year!