So, the first quarter of 2016 had come and passed. Nine more days before I fly back home! I can't say I'm all excited to go back this time around, but yeah, I'm going back.
What I'm looking forward to is some vacation time! I've been busy with work and getting sick every now and then that I can't wait to go back and spend some time with family and friends just relaxing.
Maybe the part I look forward most is just having company. I'm sure I won't be feeling so down all the time in the company of family and friends. I mean, it's good that I have a routine here, but sometimes, I'd like to have people to meet and go out with.
I resent the fact that I'm talking only to one person day and night. I resent the fact that he's moving to Dubai, knowing full well that I'm just gonna hang with him all the time. I need a new circle of friends in Dubai, but it seems like this city is too cool for me.
I wish this too will pass, and I'd be able to adapt. Somehow these days I feel like I've closeted myself. I don't express myself as freely anymore. I keep getting overshadowed, listening to how someone's life is like, how it's moving forward, so much to the point that it became a part of my life.
And I don't want that for myself. Being the background in someone else's story. I hate it.
The more I hate it, the more I grow bitter with time. This is my story, This is my life. Why am I always sidetracked with what's happening with your life?
I can't get mad enough at myself for being content with where I am now. This isn't how the story ends, life isn't supposed to take you to your path, but you need to know where to go.
I hate feeling insufficient. Feeling like I'm up to no good. But that's how I feel these days.